Tech conferences are worth every hour I have ever given them. The sessions are not. So instead of spending a thousand words proving that first, here is the program for a conference that does not exist.
AI Slop: The Literary Offenses of the Machine
How to spot AI slop, discovered the hard way, over four hundred entries, in a dressing gown, at two in the morning, and ending in a place I did not care for.
Validating AI-Generated Index Recommendations
Validating AI-generated index recommendations is the step between a persuasive script and a change you can defend in production.
Cost Optimization That Never Reaches the Invoice
SQL Server cost optimization has a problem nobody puts on the slide. The savings are real, the dollars are real, and none of it reaches the invoice. This is the story of how I found that out in front of people. I want to tell you about the best week…
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A Better Fire Alarm Is Still a Fire
A better fire alarm is still a fire. Many SQL Server incidents I get called about were preventable with controls already available in the client’s environment. Here is the audit I wish had been run before the pager rang, complete with the T-SQL.
They Finished the AI Training. Eleven Days Later, the Job Was Gone
An anonymous interview with a database professional who did everything the company asked. There is no lesson at the end of this one. I looked for one. AI Training
Nine Unusual Ways My Clients Use AI With SQL Server
Everyone writes about AI generating queries. Nobody writes about the strange jobs it is actually doing inside real database teams. These are nine of them, and I helped build every one.
AI Training at Work: Nobody Is Coming
Everyone is waiting for AI training at work. It took me a hundred conversations to understand what they are actually waiting for, and it is not a course.
SQL Server Deadlock: Build One With Your Own Hands
A SQL Server deadlock occurs when sessions form a cycle of dependencies and none can continue. This example lets you create the cycle, inspect it, and remove it.
AI Mistakes at Work: Who Never Gets Fooled
Who catches AI mistakes at work? Not the smartest person in the room. It has never once been the smartest person in the room.