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Cardinal Rules, a three panel cartoon by SQLAuthority. The red bird asks what Sam is reading. Sam holds up a book cover and the bird goes quiet. The bird protests that it is right here, and Sam says that is the part the book is about.

AI Sounds Like Someone, But Nobody Is in There

October 10, 2026
Pinal Dave
AI
AI, AI Book, Best Practices, SQL Humor

AI sounds like someone, which is exactly why the checking stops. Cardinal read the cover of my book and has not recovered.

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Cardinal Rules, a three panel cartoon by SQLAuthority. Sam asks the red bird how many rows will come back. The bird says four hundred and has never been surer of anything. A fairground scale spills a huge ribbon of abstract marks, and the deflated bird says four hundred was a feeling, not a number.

AI Row Count Estimates Come From Nothing

October 3, 2026
Pinal Dave
AI
AI, SQL Humor, SQL Performance, SQL Statistics

AI row count estimates arrive with tremendous confidence. Cardinal said four hundred. The query returned nine million.

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Cardinal Rules, a three panel cartoon by SQLAuthority. Sam asks the red bird for last quarter revenue. The bird types in a blur and calls the query poetry. Sam says there is no table called Revenue Final, and the bird replies that there should be.

AI Hallucinated a Table That Was Never There

September 26, 2026
Pinal Dave
AI
AI, Database, DBA, SQL Humor

AI hallucinated a table, wrote a lovely query against it, and handed the whole thing over without blinking. Say hello to Cardinal.

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Every Database Has These Seven Tables

Every Database Has These Seven Tables

September 11, 2026
Pinal Dave
SQL Tips and Tricks
SQL Humor

Walk into any company, open the production database, and you will find the same seven tables. Nobody planned it, and I have personally created four of them.

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A radio lying face down with its batteries out in a row, a thumb holding its red power button

Personal Technology – Laptop Screen Blank – No Post – No BIOS – No Boot

November 10, 2013
Pinal Dave
SQL Tips and Tricks
SQL Humor

Laptop screen blank with no POST, BIOS or boot? Try these simple power reset steps first. They often work when there is no hardware failure.

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SQL SERVER - A Funny Cartoon on Index

SQL SERVER – A Funny Cartoon on Index

January 17, 2011
Pinal Dave
SQLAuthority News
SQL Humor, SQL Index

A Funny Cartoon about a conversation on indexes I hear at nearly every performance tuning job. Indexes do not solve every problem, and here is what else to check.

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A wooden mannequin in a red helmet slides safely down a railed slide while another gives a thumbs up

Stop Blaming the User: Let Constraints Catch Bad Data

July 23, 2010
Pinal Dave
SQL Tips and Tricks
Best Practices, Developer, SQL Constraint and Keys, SQL Humor

Blaming the user is the oldest joke in IT. Here’s why it fails, and how NOT NULL, CHECK, UNIQUE and foreign keys stop bad data before it lands.

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