SQL SERVER – SQL Joke, SQL Humor, SQL Laugh – Generic Quotes

Few days ago, in meeting I was forced to answer one of the question from non-programmer was considered as funny quotes for long time.

“Yes it is latest year 2005 version of SQL Server – still it will not play your flash movie” — Pinal Dave (SQLAuthority.com)

Many of following quotes are well apply to SQL Server or any database and I find them humorous.

Software is Too Important to be Left to Programmers

— Meilir Page-Jones.

A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.

— Einstein

If you think good architecture is expensive, try bad architecture.

— Brian Foote and Joseph Yoder

Abraham Lincoln reportedly said that, given eight hours to chop down a tree, he’d spend six sharpening his axe.

— TidBITS 654, quoted by Derek K. Miller, via Art Evans

This saying is popular among scientists (doing experiments), but I believe it applies to software testing, particularly for real-time systems.

— Larry Zana

Q: How many QA testers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: QA testers don’t change anything. They just report that it’s dark.

— Kerry Zallar

Q: How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Just one. But the house falls down.

— Andrew Siwko

There’s no time to stop for gas, we’re already late

— Karin Donker

One test is worth a thousand opinions.

If you didn’t write it down, it didn’t happen.

If you’ve found 3 bugs in a program, best estimate is that there are 3 more.

60% of product cost comes after initial shipment.

Your problem is another’s solution;

Your solution will be his problem.

The schedule doesn’t have enough time for maintenance in it.

A lot of bugs get past the tests.

Most old code can’t be maintained.

“If you make a general statement, a programmer says, ‘Yes, but…’

while a designer says, ‘Yes, and…'”

Reference : Pinal Dave (https://blog.sqlauthority.com) , Software Engineering Proverbs collected by Tom Van Vleck