Elevator Etiquette: Small Rules for a Very Small Room

Elevator etiquette is a set of small habits that keep a crowded box of strangers calm for thirty seconds. Conferences and client meetings keep me in hotels and office towers, so I ride a lot of them.

Flights and taxis come with clear rules. Elevators don’t, and that’s where the awkward moments start. Here are the rules I follow, and the ones I always hope to see from the people riding with me.

Be Courteous

Let people off before you step in. Once you’re inside, watch the people around you. Your floor is later, but the person behind you could be getting off here. Keep the door clear.

Don’t cut the line when there is one. Don’t ask others to press your button when you can reach it yourself. The golden rule works in an elevator too: treat the others the way you want to be treated.

Be Practical

An elevator is a tiny room where you stand far closer to strangers than you normally would. A quick smile and a little eye contact loosen the mood. You don’t need a conversation, but staring at the ceiling in silence can look a bit strange.

If the silence feels heavy, keep the small talk easy: the weather, the traffic, how the day is going. Skip loaded topics, or you can end up stuck in an argument as well as an elevator. And if all else fails, read that urgent message on your phone. Half the elevator is doing the same.

Keep the Jokes Small

Facing the back wall can sound funny. So can staring at one spot on the ceiling to see if everyone copies you. Skip both. You never know who is riding with you. Picture explaining your project numbers to your boss’s boss, the same person you puzzled two minutes earlier.

On the Way to an Interview

On interview day, the elevator is part of the interview. You don’t know anyone at the company yet. The person in the corner could be the recruiter or your future manager. Be polite, and keep any talk to simple topics like the weather or holiday plans.

This is one place where silence works in your favor. It makes you look calm and prepared, even if you’re quietly repeating “stay normal, stay normal” in your head.

At the Office

The same manners help in any closed space, and the office is one of them. You spend most of the day with people you didn’t choose. Being fully professional every minute is hard, so a few ground rules help when you do want to chat.

Stay away from the big three: religion, politics and money. They’re personal and they run hot. Turn the chat into networking instead. Ask about projects, plans and where someone could use a hand. You get the social break, and you look like a good colleague too.

Five Habits to Keep

• Hold the door with the door-open button only when you’re the last one in, or the last one out.
• Press your floor, then move toward the back.
• Keep phone calls for after the ride.
• Say please, sorry and excuse me when you need to.
• Stay calm if you miss your floor or your turn. Another elevator comes along in a moment.

The Same Rule Everywhere

A conference hall can feel as crowded and awkward as an elevator. You’re surrounded by people who matter in your field, and small slips are easy to make. Use the golden rule again. Keep the talk simple and be polite to everyone, especially people you don’t know yet. The person beside you could lead the company you dream of joining, or work at one you’ve never heard of. Both deserve the same courtesy.

Small courtesies say more about us than about the people who receive them. I wrote about this habit in Why We Say Please to the Machine. It’s an essay about why our manners keep running even when nobody on the other side can be hurt. It’s one of thirty essays in my book AI: Nobody’s in There. But we’re still in here. All of them are free to read online, and the paperback is on Amazon.

Elevator etiquette is not about the elevator, it is about the people standing next to you.

Published by Pinal Dave on SQLAuthority. More of my work at pinaldave.com.