SQLAuthority News – Fathers and Daughters

Today my daughter is one year old.

I have written thousands of blog posts. I can explain an execution plan at midnight and a deadlock before breakfast. But I have been sitting with that one small sentence for a long time this morning, and I still cannot find the right words for what it means to me.

One year ago, a tiny person arrived and quietly rearranged my entire world. Nothing announced it. No one handed me a manual. She simply looked up, and everything I thought was important moved one step back to make room for her. Since that day, I have been the luckiest man I know. I get to be the father of a daughter.

She is everything to me. My wife has a sweet complaint these days: she says I stopped paying attention to her the day our daughter arrived. She says it with a smile, because she knows it is a little bit true, and because she feels the very same pull every time our little one reaches out her arms. We are two grown adults who now plan our whole day around someone who cannot yet say our names. We have never been happier. If you want to see the reason my heart is so full, here are her one year old photographs.

The Bond Nobody Can Explain

Nothing compares to the bond between a father and his daughter. I did not understand it before she came. I thought I knew what love was. Then she came into my arms, and I realized I had only ever been reading about it.

It is a strange kind of love. It is the softest thing I have ever felt, and at the same time the strongest. I would walk through fire for her without a second thought, and yet a single sleepy smile from her can bring me to my knees. I used to measure my days in work done. Now I measure them in her small victories, her new sounds, and the moments she chooses to rest her head on my shoulder.

Every father of a daughter knows the quiet fear that comes with this love too. The world is big, and she is so small. I cannot promise that she will never fall. I can only promise that every time she does, I will be there to help her stand again.

An Email I Have Never Forgotten

A year ago, when she was born, I received an email that I have kept close ever since. It came from Fernando G. Guerrero, the Global CEO of Solid Quality Mentors. In the middle of a very busy working life, he paused long enough to write these words to me:

“What a wonderful gift. Someone told me once that if I had a daughter, I would have a palace waiting for me in Paradise. Congratulations to you and your wife.”

I read those lines again today, on her first birthday, and they mean far more to me now than they did then. I believe every word. But I have learned something this year that I did not know when I first read them. I do not have to wait for Paradise. The palace is already here. It is built from a small pair of hands, a laugh that fills our home, and the way she lights up when I walk through the door.

A Few Words for Her, for Someday

She cannot read this yet. One day she will, so I want to leave a few words here for her.

My dear little one, on your first birthday I want you to know this. You did not change our lives, you gave us new ones. Grow at your own pace. Be curious, be kind, and be brave enough to be yourself. There will be days when you feel lost, and on those days, remember that you have a father who believed in you before you took your very first step. Whatever you become, wherever you go, you will always have a home in my heart. I will always be proud of you. Happy birthday.

A year has gone by faster than any year of my life. Everyone told me they grow up quickly, and I nodded politely. Now I understand. So today, I am choosing to slow down. The laptop can wait. The next blog post can wait. Today belongs to her.

To Every Father of a Daughter

If you are the father of a daughter, I would love to hear from you. What do you feel when you look at her? What do you wish you could tell her? Please share it in the comments. I have a feeling we will understand each other perfectly, without needing many words.

And if your daughter is all grown up now, call her today. Tell her the things you told her when she was one. She still needs to hear them.

Being a father is not a role I play, it is the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me.

Published by Pinal Dave on SQLAuthority. More of my work at pinaldave.com.