SQL SERVER – SQL Joke, SQL Humor, SQL Laugh – Generic Quotes

Few days ago, in meeting I was forced to answer one of the question from non-programmer was considered as funny quotes for long time. My answer is below, followed by more generic quotes that fit any database.

“Yes it is latest year 2005 version of SQL Server – still it will not play your flash movie” — Pinal Dave (SQLAuthority.com)

Many of following quotes are well apply to SQL Server or any database and I find them humorous.

Software is Too Important to be Left to Programmers

— Meilir Page-Jones.

A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.

— Einstein

If you think good architecture is expensive, try bad architecture.

— Brian Foote and Joseph Yoder

Abraham Lincoln reportedly said that, given eight hours to chop down a tree, he’d spend six sharpening his axe.

— TidBITS 654, quoted by Derek K. Miller, via Art Evans

This saying is popular among scientists (doing experiments), but I believe it applies to software testing, particularly for real-time systems.

— Larry Zana

Q: How many QA testers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: QA testers don’t change anything. They just report that it’s dark.

— Kerry Zallar

Q: How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Just one. But the house falls down.

— Andrew Siwko

There’s no time to stop for gas, we’re already late

— Karin Donker

One test is worth a thousand opinions.

If you didn’t write it down, it didn’t happen.

If you’ve found 3 bugs in a program, best estimate is that there are 3 more.

60% of product cost comes after initial shipment.

Your problem is another’s solution;

Your solution will be his problem.

The schedule doesn’t have enough time for maintenance in it.

A lot of bugs get past the tests.

Most old code can’t be maintained.

“If you make a general statement, a programmer says, ‘Yes, but…’

while a designer says, ‘Yes, and…'”

Published by Pinal Dave on SQLAuthority. More of my work at pinaldave.com.